we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
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Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
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We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.