Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
false alarm. still invincible.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.