dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.