i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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