If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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