so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
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It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
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Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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