I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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