I am spending my child support on dildos
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize