Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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