I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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