do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza