Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend