Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.