went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.