Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
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I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
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Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...