I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?