i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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