Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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