I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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