I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
