He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
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he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
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The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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