Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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