Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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