wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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