Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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