so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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