i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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