dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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