I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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