It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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