Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize