Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
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The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
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He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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