I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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