When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
