Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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