My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
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I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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