then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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