just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
did you just send me my own nude
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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