dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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