If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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