I am in a vortex of obligation.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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