Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
