My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
