you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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