We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me