They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She told me I should be a condom model.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
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i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
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For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position