i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.