thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.