I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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