I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
