The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
