would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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