His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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