ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
