i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
