I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize