i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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