CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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