He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize